The past week I haven't really been able to see straight since when I close my eyes all I see are lists of pros and cons scrolling past. It is, of course, the age-old classic question: Should I stay or should I go? More exactly, should I stay here and continue along in my fairly comfortable if vaguely unexciting life, OR should I take off for three-ish months (depending on whether you use the lunar or the julian calendar), live on the Red Sea in Saudi Arabia working as a private nurse for a foreign dignitary? Complicating the matter are the issues that I've just started a new job which I love, I would have to give up my apartment and find someone to take care of my dogs, but I would be making nearly a year's salary in those three months time. Then throw into the mix other random worries which creep into my mind...how will I get my prescription headache medicine? Will I have to eat lamb? Am I really okay with the government keeping my passport and visa while I am there, having to where a niqaab and abaya, and not laughing in public? My boss turned out to be super supportive, and said that I should go, and I'd always have a job here when I got back. Phew. My friend S offered to take care of my doggies for me, and nobody except me loves them as much as her, so double phew. My friend J offered to help me sit down and literally make lists of lists in order to prepare to go, so phew again. Then my family said uh-uh. Don't go. And other assorted things related to public beheadings and misogynistic theocracies. *screeeech.* (those are the brakes.) My family has never ever asked me NOT to do something. Well, not since I was four and I was told never to cut the cat's whiskers off again. But they've otherwise been very supportive of everything that I wanted to do, whether or not they truly agreed with me, they stood behind me. So now I'm all a-fluster and rattled again.
I'll admit, the money, whether it be blood/oil money or not, is really tempting. The carrot dangling in front of my face, promising paid-off credit cards, student loans gone, a down-payment on my very own house, a pony, is almost more than I can resist. Then there's just the whole experience of it all, the opportunity to see a part of the world and a culture that I would never otherwise be able to.
I need more headache medicine, these lists are making my head hurt.