Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Tonight I met a fellow, B, at the usual first date locale. He was a very nice guy. He lives in Sea Tac and does something with computers. He was very nice. He asked me what kind of car I drove and didn't leave a very big tip for the waitress. But very nice. Should there be some sort of spark or something the first time you meet someone? I am also emailing someone, D, who makes me smile just from his descriptions of what he likes to bake in his email. There's also J and C on email too. C has a dog with cool blue eyes, but J lived in New Zealand for a couple of years. Maybe there should be some sort of feeling, even if it's not a spark, that I want to be around person X again, and soon. Instead of a sort of "I should maybe see this person again, maybe" kind of feeling.
Ah well. I have my lovely boots. That's all I need for now.
Monday, December 26, 2005
like this, on the right.
Also there was some mucous and supraventricular tachycardia and even a ham, but otherwise, just like that picture.
I had the same patient all three nights, also had her a lot a few weeks ago. I think she's done, as we say, she's "declared herself." She went from being awake and somewhat alert one night, so far as I actually interacted with her, could ask her about her pain levels, etc, and she would respond with nodding or shaking her head and squeezing my hands, to...nothing. No response, not to verbal stimuli, pain, sternal rub, nothing. No pain meds or sedation on board either. So last night she stopped making urine and her blood pressure started falling, and she was running a high temp. She has cancer, and slowly her organ systems are failing. One of her family members wants us to go ahead with dialysis and give her a tracheostomy. This makes us nurses sad because just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should. Just as we help people to stay alive, and live the best way that they can, we should be able to help them at the end of their lives, to die with peace and dignity. And to respect that when they say they're done, they're done. I wiped off her sweaty forehead with a cool cloth, while I told her that it was okay, that we understood, and it was okay. Sometimes it seems like they just wait for permission to go, and I hope someone she loves tells her that it's okay too. Interestingly, the family member who wants all of these "heroic" measures taken also happens to not have had a good relationship with or been close to her. Maybe he's trying to compensate for something. So...if you love someone, be good to them, and tell them. Because life is short, and the ICU is not the time to make up for not living and loving when you should have. *steps off soapbox.*
Friday, December 23, 2005
If you're going to visit this site to live vicariously through my debaucherous adventures, you are going to be subjected to random pictures of very cute very short dogs. So, for today's installment, we have Ted. Here he is, being cute. And wishing you a happy Hanukkah :)
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Due to a recent email from a prospective suitor, I've had to add yet another item to my increasingly long list of Non-negotiable Deal Breakers. Everyone has such a list, some people are just more willing to admit that they do. The List contains things that would immediately eliminate someone from consideration for dating, some things even eliminate someone from the Friend zone. But that's a whole other post :) The List has certain obvious items, such as #47: Married. One of my friend's lists has #32: Glass eye (come on, everyone has weird little things they can't get past.) For example, here are some items on my list:
- Voted for Bush (any of them)
- Allergic to dogs
- Wearing a backwards baseball cap
- Dislike of dogs
- Eats with his mouth open
- Dogs dislike him
I could go on an on with this list, probably more than I should, according to some well-meaning advice givers. But that's not the point, the point is that yesterday I had to add "Used the phrase 'masturbating zombies' in his first correspondence with me" to the NNDB List. There are some weirdos out there, and that's what I get for giving Renton a chance.
I am trying really hard to be a big enough person to keep things like "small hands" and "long hair" off my list. And I am willing to admit that really, just about every item on The List is negotiable. Well, except the dog thing.