This was the view from my parent's living room window in Bellingham, as it dawned on me that I would not be driving back to Seattle that day. I did eventually make it home, obviously, after knitting several more hats and hot water bottle cozies.
I worked two days of 'per diem' at my old job this week. The first day wasn't too bad, just had one intubated patient, fairly smooth going. The second day sucked ass, and the unit was crazy as well, but I was kind of glad. It was a nice reminder as to why I left, and that I made the right decision for myself. And so as to not interrupt my two-year stretch of not letting my patients die on my shift, I left at 3:30 when my shift ended although the patient's withdrawal of life support was going to start within the hour. Also, kudos to Dr W, who was the most direct that I've heard any doctor be with family on our unit. "Your wife is going to die. If we allow things to continue as they are now, she will die within the week. Probably closer to 48 hrs. Maybe sooner. Her disease has already made that decision for her. But you have the decision to make about how she will die." Sounds harsh, but he somehow conveyed the utmost compassion, empathy, and wisdom in that statement. And, cancer scores again.
Today I went into work then found out I wasn't supposed to be there. Oops. My surprise day off was lovely though, I managed a trip to Target and two naps.