Friday, October 27, 2006


That's me, I'm out-dated. I've dated too much this week. Ugh. I don't even have the energy to update you on each of the fellows...I used it all up straightening my hair and smiling a lot. Tonight I took the night off to knit and watch Big Love and eat gnocchi in vodka sauce and of course I drank some more Argentinian wine. I have a magnet on my fridge that says, "Sorry I can't go on a date with you, I need to stay home and knit." Oh, so true.

Is it true that Lexus makes a car that can parallel park itself? Because I saw it on a commercial, so it has to be true. And I am truly disgusted. Us true parallel parkers (doing it the old-fashioned way, with my hands on the steering wheel...I know, CRAZY!) must refuse to be replace by a machine. Parallel parking is a skill, a true art-form if you will. And I will. Yep, in two moves, that's right, and I'm proud of my skills. So I thumb my nose at you, Lexus, and you lazy Lexus-drivers. If you can't parallel park your own car, then a.) Stay off the road, Soccer Mom, or b.) Find yourself a cozy little parking garage and pull that sucker in head first. Ugh. I hope your parallel-parking computer in your fancy-ass Lexus breaks and there you will be, double-parked, wondering why everyone who actually knows how to drive also knows how to use their horn. Does the Lexus beep at other drivers for you too, when they cut you off? Then make you a latte? Can you hear that noise? Listen closely. That's me gagging. On your Lexus exhaust.

No comments: