There are certain things that seem hilarious at four in the morning, that sort of lose something during the "real day" when normal people are awake and the sun is shining.
Last night at work the palm of my hand kept stinging every time I put alcohol gel on it. I noticed I had a tiny divet in my palm, the shape of a fingernail, I must have been clenching my fists while sleeping again. So the following conversation took place:
Me: This little cut on my hand is killing me! Stupid alcohol gel...
RN Friend: Weird. What's it from?
Me: (examining hand closer) Not sure...strange place for a cut...must be stigmata.
RN Friend: Cool. You should use that as an excuse to call in sick.
Me: Ooh! Good idea! 'Hi, Charge Nurse? Yeah, this is Rosebuttons RN. I'm calling in sick for my night shift tonight, maybe the next few nights too...yeah, I've got the stigmata.'
RN Friend: Perfect. They can't argue with that, you know you can't come to work if you can't control your secretions.
Me: Total infection risk.
RN Friend: I gotta get some of that stigmata.
So on my handy List of Excuses for Calling in Sick, I shall add Stigmata right after Scurvy and right before Pink Eye.
Again, apologies for insulting any more religious groups, as I probably did in my previous post as well. But what good is an organized religion if they can't laugh at themselves too?