I'm still here...

I haven't posted anything in a while, so I thought I'd drop in to say hey, I'm still around. Been working a lot lately, taking care of W. for a few weeks now. She's sometimes a tough patient, but I keep requesting her now, for whatever reason. Maybe because it gets easier to more experience you have with a patient, the whole "the devil you know..." thing. Maybe because the more you invest in taking care of someone, the more you have to be there for them. Last night her daughter asked me, "Is she going to wake back up? Is my mom ever going to be my mom again?" I don't know. Nobody knows. Maybe, or maybe not. There's such a super-fine tightrope we walk at work, giving realistic expectations but not extinguishing hope. Never extinguish hope, that's all some of these people have. You've got to hope for the best, because, really, what choice to do we have? Our chaplain told me once (someone else probably said this first, so I apologize for not giving credit where due), "Always hope for a miracle but never expect one."

Someone died this week. He was a cool guy. I want to link you to his obituary in the New York Times so you can read about his life and everything he did, but I'm too paranoid about HIPAA. He taught me that regardless of political affiliation, some people are just good people. He was warm, curious, funny, and open. He wanted to hear what you thought just because you thought it, not because you supported a particular party or 'side.' He wanted you to know more about politics, but he would give you a book or literature and encourage you to learn something through your own eyes then come back to discuss it with him. He found humor wherever he could. The love and compassion he inspired in his family members, evident from the way they looked at him and laughed with him was moving. He was genuine in a disarming way. When you strip away preconceived ideas and deal with people just as human beings, you are often surprised but always rewarded. It's unfortunate that sometimes it takes illness and suffering, or just putting someone in a neutralizing hospital gown, to approach that situation. So thank you sir, I feel lucky just to have met you.

I'm on stand-by tonight for work but I just received an 'ominous' call from my charge nurse, so I might be putting those scrubs on after all...